A lot lead me to blog today....

WOW, has it really been over a year in a half that I have written on this blog? It is so crazy to read the last blog about Logan's progress then and know how far he has come. He is becoming such a little man and it excites me yet scares me all at the same time. In August last year our little boy turned 2 and started preschool. It was a very hard thing for me to do and he only goes three days a week for three hours each day! I pushed through though and knew that in the end it would benefit him and it has in so many ways! He has so many friends and gets smarter everyday. Now we are at the end of May and school ends in two weeks and in August Logan will be 3! Where has the time gone? Now onto what has been laid on my heart today....

So much has changed in such a short amount of time!!! I feel like the burning question on everyones mind everytime we talk to someone or see someone is "when will Logan have a brother or sister?" I always have the same answer...hopefully soon!! It is no secret to those close around me that I have endometriosis and it has become much worse since we had Logan. I have two amazing doctors that Mike and I trust completely and we are certain that God lead us to each of them to help us along the way in our journey of parenthood! My heart burns with desire to have as many children as the Lord would like to entrust in our care! It has not been an easy or pleasant journey and honestly deep down in my heart I knew without a doubt that I couldn't handle what might lay ahead of us. The hormone therapies and possible fertility treatments started sounding like the only answers and I was scared to death! I have been going about my days in almost a haze state wondering what will happen and how will we deal with the outcome if it is not what we expect or hope for. Monday morning on my way to work I turned on my Jeremy Camp CD and "Walk by Faith" was playing. The song sang straight to my heart and the words he sang were God's words to me. Over and over I heard "I will walk, I will walk, I will walk by faith I will, I will, I will walk by faith." Right in that moment I was reminded that I didn't have to endure all of this alone or be afraid . I could do it all in the strength of Him who has all power!! Right there on the way to my shift Monday morning at Geico God's word revived my soul! This is not the first time this has happened in such a way (music has always been a very powerful tool between God and I) and I know it will not be the last. But I knew then and I know now that nothing else could have made me feel the same way that did. Often my heart aches because I let this world get the best of me and I seem to find enough time to fit everyone and everything else in and fail my Lord miserably. I know more than anyone that I must spend time with the Lord through His word daily yet sometimes I don't do it. I have challenged myself to not only pick up my Bible daily and spend quality time with the Lord but I will listen to scripture in my car and write it everywhere I can see! I know deep in my heart that the more I experience my God the less I will want anything else! My favorite verse right now through this experience is John 10:11 "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep." This is a constant reminder for me when my mind goes to what might happen or how will we handle this. God wouldn't do anything or allow anything to come into my life that would not be right or good for me, because HE is the good shepherd. I just really felt lead to write this blog and share this today because I know that I am not the only Christian that feels this way sometimes. My current problem might seem big to some and small to others but remember that God wants to be involved in everything in your life and He is concerned with every detail big or small. We just have to let Him in!!!

God Bless~
Jamie