As I sit and think about the last few days and how so many lives have been turned upside down I cannot help but wonder why and truly be angry about it all! I think about how these officers have no laws to really protect them and how they have shed many tears these last few days. I think about how this could have easily have been my own husband and how my children especially my son would suffer much more pain losing their hero than even losing me. I am scared that my children will grow up without a father bc of a senseless act that never has to happen. I just cannot wrap my head around the fact that we will honestly pay more to keep this killer behind bars then we will pay to lay Officer Crispin to rest.
I have truly been shaken to the core by an Officers death that hits way too close to home and I am mad. I am mad that my faith is shaken and that at the end of the day I have no choice but to put my smile back on my face and be my officers supportive wife. I am wondering how I can truly go on and handle death after death and kiss my husband goodbye everynight and pray that the next one isnt him. I am not this strong and I am angry! I pray that God can forgive my anger and understand it. It is insane to me that the same man I love with all of my heart...the father to my children goes out to protect you while I beg for you to protect him! All of them! I am sorry I am just so mad...
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